This afternoon I stopped at the post office to buy postcard stamps. When I walked into the lobby, the line was 10 people deep. Forget this, I thought to myself and almost turned around. On second thought, I decided to wait.

I only needed a single postcard stamp. And really, I didn’t even need it. I could’ve used one of the Forever stamps that I already had at home. Buying an actual postcard stamp for my postcard would’ve saved me a whopping 20 cents.

But, I waited in the long line anyway. I had my reasons.

  • I’m cheap. If I can keep 20 cents in my pocket, I will.
  • I had nowhere to be. My afternoon was free.
  • Tense social situations intrigue me. Most people don’t think waiting in line at the post office is interesting. I beg to differ. As long as you don’t have to impatiently tap your feet or exhale loudly in exasperation at our government’s inefficiencies (i.e. you don’t have a meeting to get to or a train to catch), observing the irritation levels of everyone else around you shoot up like thermometers in hell can be quite funny.

Three employes were working behind the counter. One lady in particular was doing a fantastic job, whipping through customers like there was no tomorrow. We’ll call her Suzanne. “Next please!” she called.

An old women trudged up to her window. “Hi, Mrs. Humphrey, how are you today?” Suzanne asked the old woman. Impressive. Suzanne knows her customers’ names.

“I need a roll of stamps,” grunted the woman. So much for pleasantries.

“Alriight… And what design would you like?” asked Suzanne.

– and here’s where I will manually insert a dramatic pause, because if I had told this story aloud, I would have inhaled deeply right at this moment for the punchline –

“Well, I DON’T want any Muslim stamps.”

Suzanne looked at the woman. I could only assume the restrained expression on her face hid the shock that she felt. “We don’t have Muslim stamps.”

“Well, OK then.”

I gagged a little. Are you kidding me?

The line moved along almost quickly. I bought 10 postcard stamps. Figured I’d stock up. I don’t need to endure the line at the post office again any time soon. ☼